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GODBLESSYALLREALGOOD

from Diaspora Problems by SOUL GLO

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lyrics

Fuck me? Oh, okay. Alright, fuck me, then. Bet! I was met with silence when I reached out to you-shrug, oh well, we could’ve worked things out ourselves. If I never see y’all again I guess I’ll see y’all in hell and forever clean blood off myself. You ever know someone who makes the world they sidekick? It’s dap and smiles from every clique when they come round to visit? If I was still 16 I’d talk about how I was sickened to know that he could do no wrong, and I was just the fat kid. If I could talk to 16 year old me I’d be like “yr too young to get this, but you need to be flexible with all yr future visions. Everyone around you is showing you their true intentions and you’ll have just yrself to blame if you don’t learn to listen.”

These bitch ass niggas dont give a fuck.
So I guess this is how its got to be? Word life, I’m dead to y’all, y’all dead to me. I got the county tatted on me twice, you wanna see? Wish I could look over y’all shoulder when this gets a read. You had to insulate yr mans from Big Bad Pierce, as though he wasn’t my mans too and for him I too feared. You couldn’t see a way our friendship wouldn’t end in tears, but all of this is an assumption. We aint speak in years.

I wanted all you niggas up with me. I wanted to include everybody. Y’all content to live it out in Calvert County, and I was straight up wrong to look down on it. But you can’t understand what had happened at that party that y’all had for Chris. You were too lit to remember it. You fail yrself each day you live and thats why I call you bitch, I betcha.

I was a bitch too, I was slow to move. They felt they couldn’t trust me and that shit was true. How you think it made them feel to see me around you? And it was never too soon to step into they shoes.

I wanted to handle this together like we always do...or did...shit…

We’re disposable? Bitch fuck all y’all. I was tryna pass the ball. Bitch fuck all y’all. I was playing against the wall. Bitch fuck all y’all. Solidarity is a loaded word, I learned, when one of the girls was like “we dont like her.” You’ll never know how deep that shit cut when I heard. I got two in the hand for you, you fucking bird. Me and Lea are cool and y’all abandoned her too. Me and Nat are cool and y’all abandoned them too. Sometimes I wonder how it seems to you from yr point of view, bc only inside my pain can I be that comfortable. I wept when I wrote this, but I’ll laugh again, even if it’s just at all the lessons in the end. And I was lucky to preserve my presence as a friend, but it aint lost on me I was the darkest-skinned.

For so long the grief was beyond tears perforated by silence, denial, and merely
spreading the processing across years.
Yea, detachment can be weird.

The wedding pictures and baby pictures do too well to remind me of the friends that so easily left us behind.

These bitch ass niggas don’t give a fuck

I know yr heart despite all of this, because you couldnt go thru with it. But I guess “best friend” was just bullshit, because it didnt have to be like this. That’s why I call you bitch, I betcha.

credits

from Diaspora Problems, released March 25, 2022

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SOUL GLO Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

COMING CORRECT IS CHEAPER

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